I feel possessed by these coping mechanisms
Spirits I once let in so freely
Opened myself to them as a home
In return, they kept me safe for many years
Until keeping me safe meant keeping me locked inside
Among them
Where I would be safe
Nothing could get in
Yet, soon enough I realized
I could no longer get out
And now I'm sitting here
At the edge of my consciousness
Banging against the metal bars
Begging for a way out
And sometimes they do
Let me out
To breathe a moment
Let me off the leash to prove to them
That I am safe enough to be free
And it feels amazing and weightless
Like I am fluid and free
Until the moment I feel threatened
And my panic calls out to those spirits again
They sooth me and care for me
Gently washing over me and
Managing the stress with ease
Until I am calm
Sitting snugly behind
The metal bars again