i am in so much pain

my whole world is spinning all the time

i tried to take up nicotine to help

it isn't

i tried to drink all my problems away

and now i fight the urge every day

i'm trying to get better

but ******* it it feels impossible

when no one is in your corner

when getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain

but no one understands that

because that is just something most people do without thinking about

so when you say getting up is hard, they call you lazy

so you start to think you are just a lazy ******* who needs to do better

then they ask why you are always in a sweatshirt

why you never do your makeup

why your hair is always a mess

why your eyes are puffy

why you killed yourself

why you didn't talk to anyone

why you didn't get help

why you ended it all



- what if i take all my pills?