I fed my needs again to the growing pit in my stomach Out of hope that he matched me In the moment I matched him So we drank smoked and I was taken Aback by something I probably Just projected onto him like some kind of ****** up fantasy i always hope will make me feel something different In no time it picked me up and pushed me around harder than the fantasy told me it would im fooled but don’t care to admit that. I will say that I’m a foolish girl It comes around and I assumed it wouldn’t How useless my mind at times when the world does as it pleases And I sit here foolish Smiling and drunk hoping that he will be the one person in the entire world who finally gets me in some way beyond surface level. I’ll always walk alone in the face of personality but something tears at me from inside It wants to be held Or hold I’m not sure And it’s so ******* strong It wants to come out but these ******* people won’t understand me for dog **** So it ***** itself back inside my body and it hurts. It feels heavy and it takes too long. you teach me about things I forgot I loved But I gave too many kisses. I was just excited You do not understand me.