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Feb 2020
im dysphoric.
really really ******* badly dysphoric.
i dont have you here to hold me the way you held me,
and tell me all those warm reassuring words of comfort,
reassuring my masculinity,
and telling me just how much you love me,
and how much you cant wait till im your husband,
and how ill always be a man
and your man.

i miss how you told me my body was that of a roman statue,
how i was masculine and dominating,
how even my smell was that of a man,
and how my stature screamed nothing but β€˜man’ and your β€˜man’.

and now i have to sit alone,
wallowing in pain,
crying till all dysphoria is gone,
alone with no arms to cry in,
and no chest to lie my head on.

i have to face my worst pain alone.
with no words of warmth,
or comfort,
or reassurance,
to reassure my masculinity
and my worth.

i just want to ******* disappear,
or get taken back to august.
under the chinese arch,
when you held me in your arms.
even when i was crying you made me feel the most masculine,
and most strongest.

and right now i feel the most feminine,
and the most weakest,
without you.
more of a poetic vent than a poem.
Written by
cesario  16/M/"U.K"
     Perry, CarolineSD and ---
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