I feel you within me
Such a small child
Not the smallest one there
But definitely the most confident

With hands torn up
You can always see the blood
You always made me see it too
Saying that we can't forget our roots

That's how you keep yourself safe
How you keep me safe
You tell me you are the sole protector
There is no one else
Even when there should have been
And it's been so long that
You can't remember what you deserve
So you believe there never can be anyone else again

Even though I'm the oldest
You've always been the adult
Except I realzied that no matter how you feel
No matter how grown you needed to be
To take care of yourself and everyone else
You can never really be an adult
Because you're just a child
A kid that should've been loved
Should've been taken care of
Shown what it means to be a person

Instead?
You were alone and neglected
Left to your own care and coping
Slowly building up walls to stay safe
While quietly begging for someone to tear them down
To say it's ok to be small and
It's ok to feel pain
To feel anything

Instead?
You were left in the dark
Latching onto any form of light you could
Grades, writing, drugs, love
They all gave you something
Made you feel something
But love gave the biggest rush

Love was the answer
That missing piece you so desperately needed
With the most striking light
So you sought out the brightness in others
Even though some of those people
Were just wearing headlamps
Whose batteries died out very quickly
Leaving you cold and stuck in the dark
With their problems piled onto your own

And a few times we met the one
The one who could love us deeply
The one who saw us
Gave us undying love and support
And when you finally have access to
The light that you craved most
The one thing that you never had
That type of light no longer feels warm and inviting

It feels sharp and painful
It illuninates the truth that you've been avoiding
The fact that you were emotionally neglected
You raised yourself and lost your childhood
You're alone and you're lonely
And the only way to make it stop
Is to tear down those walls that kept you safe
The ones you think still do

And so
As the "adult"
You've made some tough choices that you regret
Because you think you're protecting yourself
You can't take back things you've said
Or fix the feelings you've hurt
It's just a part of this ride
You don't trust me as the real adult
Because you can't trust anyone

And yet,
I can take care of us now
I love you and it's ok to be small
Because you are small and scared and
So very very lonely

It's ok to have feelings and to let people in
Life is scary and things will go wrong
But you can always trust that I will keep us safe
We don't need the walls or the numbing
We are strong
We are safe
And we deserve love