What it feels like..
Today I watched rain spatter like paint on my window pane
and I remembered how you looked the last night I ever saw you breathe
I remembered how you told me it was like heaving for air
when you don't have the lungs to lead
Yesterday I watched a feather fall from a birds wing
and I thought of how you floated through life
wishing you could fly away
I couldn't give you those wings
the wings you needed to pull the strings life couldn't give you
If I could've said "I know how it feels"
to be the beaten up vet looking into an empty bottle of whiskey
with the empty heart flooded with never ending sounds of a gun
to be the adopted child torn away from his mother
the woman beaten and battered by a man called friend
I could've said "I know what it feels like"
but I never did
and now I'm sitting here with your casket on my shoulder
Praying to God that someone will be bolder
than I ever could and hoped someone would
because now I'm sitting here collecting daisies in an open field
under your favourite sycamore tree
and I promised you I would write letters when you moved to Tennessee
You never made it
I carved your name in the pavement where you picked up that dying bird
and told me every single word of the songs your mother used to sing
about putting life in everything
You told me you couldn't do it
If I could have told you I know what it feels like
to lose your focus on the 9th inning of that World Series we call life
Instead you used your knife and carved a ****
and laid yourself in a bed of ashes
and I swore to God I'd never erase it
I couldn't erase it but time
It was always ticking, tick
tick
tick
If I could've wrapped my arm around yours
threw you on a boat and brought you to Venice
so you could have seen what beauty was
or I could've given you a mirror