life is contradictions, and love is contradictions. both are complicated enough to give you a headache but really they’re the simplest things in the world. they are like the warm weather; it sneaks up on you slowly and it’s pleasant and soft and bright, optimistic it caresses your skin so you might as well go outside and you run along and you feel the pain as you gasp for breath and you push harder because you want your muscles to be sore, to ache for days after this one, you want to be reminded of this moment and it is a painful moment, you want the pain but you’re too cowardly to inflict it yourself. so maybe if you appear to be chasing a goal you can elude yourself, or someone. maybe. so you’re running, and you’re combatting inner pain by causing outer, and it makes no sense and it hurts like hell and you can’t stand it but you don’t want to, you never did, and your balled-up fists grow sweaty and uncomfortable and you run and run and boom the warmth becomes heat and the softness stabs you and surrounds you and the optimistic sun blinds you with its light and you squint your eyes against it but there is no moving the sun. it will go down on its own.