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Feb 13
Black coffee and black tears
We’re out of milk and I’m running late
I was supposed to buy some yesterday
But I was working overtime again
When Mum called asking If I was okay
For the third time that day
Yes,uh-huh. Yes, yes. Okay
Yes, I miss him too
We all do

I ate cold chinese and collapsed into bed
Before waking to familiar dread
Took ten minutes to find my head and
Then my shoes, hey wait a sec
They’re already on, along
With yesterday’s outfit
Mascara running down my face
No need to change, I’ve been ready since the start
Life hack: let your life fall apart
Until your sanity’s razor thin
Cut to me dialling his number, in a daze
My coffee cold, the empty milk carton flung
Across the room in sudden rage
A rage filled with regret, bitter and sticky
Wrapped in emptiness and dipped in self-pity

It clicks through to voicemail, his voice in my head
‘Hi, I’m not here, leave a message instead’
The following beep demands that I speak
Torturing me with a false chance I don’t have
And haven’t had in a while
The tears reach my smile
No point in asking if you might
Be a dear and grab a pint
The stores are all closed. They always will be
No milk, no you, there's only me

My silent message over, another beep, telling me
It's over. He can’t ever call you back
Get used to drinking your coffee black
Written by
Suhayb  20/M/London
(20/M/London)   
177
 
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