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Jan 2020
My heart was the first thing she stole, and I let her because she kept it warm with our first love’s coal. Now she has turned cold, and her heart she sold to anyone with large enough billfolds. My love alone isn’t even enough to save her decaying soul, her body like an old story told. Everyone but me never stays like she has some infectious mold. I must be ******* bold, for no matter what the whispers from the outside say, I have to stay, and I pray that she’ll remember how she loved me yesterday. That this hell of today will go away even if my life I’ll have to pay. I’ll find a way to bring back my baby, it’s driving me crazy as I’ll do anything for this still beautiful lady, but her cold gaze makes me think I’m being too lazy. I got to push myself her harder, make myself smarter, become even stronger, and grow a little bit longer. Then maybe she’ll stop creeping behind my back like I don’t know that she’s being a *****. Letting other men **** her behind those doors, and we could go back to the time before. So, I sit, waiting patiently, as she doesn’t know that what she does makes me die. If only she can open, her eyes. If only she would stop with all her lies, for they’ve become my demise, if only she was oh so wise.

If only he can see that my soul can’t be saved, I have made too many sins that I will have to pay. I love him since that wonderful day that he began to say, “I love you”, but now my life is hanging by a thread that’s beginning to fray. It has come to the time that the bed that I made becomes the one I have to lay in. My lies are the only thing keeping me close to him, and the only thing that will make him stay. If he knew the truth, he’d drop me in a heartbeat. I desperately want to be saved from the dark heat, but I got to collect from the evil street or the devil himself will reveal what I try to keep discrete. He’s got me wrapped around his finger and I can’t escape without ending up a chalk outline on the black concrete. I’m scared to let him go but I know life without me is better for him though. I don’t have a future I got nowhere to go but he can get out there and make it on his own for his soul is as pure as the snow. I will constantly have this extreme fear of keeping him near, but I must let go even if it brings me tears. I’m tired of trying and I’m tired of him constantly dying when I come around with another round of lying. Maybe it’s best if I sell my soul to the one who rules Hell. I got to fight the demons hidden deep within the well of my heart that love seems to fail. Everyday that I’m alive I can tell that he is not well by the looks of his skin so pail. At last I must begin to set sail and hope that my absence with unravel the veil over my darlings’ eyes. I pray that he does not die but finds one who his love can multiply. That she makes it feel as he can fly through the sky, and as I lay here rotting and dry, he doesn’t wait for my reply and changes his mind so he can find someone to give all his precious time.
Rodrigo Martinez Lopez
Written by
Rodrigo Martinez Lopez  24/M/75001
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