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Jan 10
know that I could never
bring myself to hate anything of this world
not truly not when there is nothing
I think lower of than myself
everything else is a mere
consequence a lashing out
an explosion an outburst
things I've kept for so long I
cannot stomach it any longer
no matter the control I have
it is no excuse but it is the only
reason I will ever have and
I am regretful with every word
I whip against bare hearts with
every raise of my voice and sharp eyes
I accept punishment in red lines
counted perfectly down to the
smallest sins it is not much but
it is all I can do to remind myself that
I am nothing better than anyone else
if anything I am at the very bottom of
this strange hierarchy and I hate myself
for acting like I'm not with this inability
to stop trying to prove myself worthy
of what I am not sure yet
of something I suppose
what this is about I've forgotten
there is nothing but regret
and emptiness despite the things
people say I've achieved
there is nothing but a noxious
Written by
ame  17/F/PH
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