my eyes have been red for the last half hour.
i have that dizzy feeling,
like i just stopped spinning.
but it doesn't seem to be fading, for me.

my head is really hurting, pounding,
and i think that's why i keep hearing this buzzing,
and why my eyes keep squinting and closing.

i feel like the heavy head my neck is holding,
would fall off and start rolling,
on my floor if i tried relaxing.

my nose is burning from the sniffling,
and the blowing and the struggling breaths,
and the choking and the stuffing,
and the wriggling and painful contorting.

every swallow almost feels eroding,
because my throat is still recovering from,
all the silent screaming and
the failed attempts of suffocating myself with my pillow.

26.07.19