I rang the bell
to no avail
I rang again to which
I was greeted with a total fail
so I knocked
lightly
so to not create a situation
and the door came right open
then started the strangest conversation

he stepped outside to whisper
  you the guy ?
I called this morning?
"I believe I am" I replied
" I ....wel..l.... I.. he whispered "cool!"

" then ...first look this over !"
and without warning
he pushed a piece of paper...
nearly up my nose

"You can deal with all that.....
( he suddenly turned it look in the doors open crack) I suppose? "
still in whispering tones

I  looked at the list- twice -as instructed
my mind did insist
no problem.... no problem... not really a problem and I don't know i found myself whispering "about that one... but it'll  be okay I promise
I know people I smiled
He didn't!

okay if you can take care of all that
without causing me grief
and her to have a fit ...then...

Then man ...
you will be the man ..the man with the plan the man who can ...too bad your name ain't Stan,!"

is this guy three days
into "a crankup in session ..or what?"

I was about to beg off
then I thought
just wait and see
hear him out then reflect
on the whole picture.

I'm here to be of service ..I thought
so why the hell is this guy
so freakin nervous ?

we both heard a squeaking sound
from Beyond the crack in the open door
and just like that
he changed
al  surreptitiousoddity vanished
like smoke up a chimney flue
"  gooddeal  "he said
she's riding her 30 minutes
stationary bike by video...!  you know ?

I smiled sweetly... still wary
"okay I'm sorry "said the guy
let me explain
what it is it's been making me so insane

I took a week off work...like a ****
so I can relax
and deal with some of those things
Ive neglected  
around the house. ..ya know
But  could I? No!
NO!  she said N...O....no!!

Then  she said "you can't.
You don't know the right protocol
and I said what protocol?
Protocol to spackle a wall?
"you know,...he sorta  grimaced...
door **** hole through  sheetrock? "

I nodded and muttered,( still whispering )

IDK Why!

"As common as sparrows" I said
okay then... I'll fix the doorbell  
she said you can't.. No!
You need to find the right protocol .


( hey YOU reader.. I already saw it on the list so ha! )

  then last night I went downstairs
after midnight ...mind you
to Google what the hell she's sayin
Or what it is that I'm missing
found some instructions ...some warnings abusive helpers  trolls full of crap
and that's it.. no protocols do exist
or are , nonexistent or
so nonspecific that...anyways...

and I hate admitting that I sat there
For more than an hour
just turning the knobs in my mind
seeking some mysterious power
To find ....
Trying like hell to ring some bell ...
...and that's when ... I accidentally
accidently ...now!
I nudged that Mouse along the pad
and up popped your ad

then I was mad... bad bad mad..then sad ..but  glad
all that in about a 3 second span
So i sent you that text
to save me
and you will be ...forever be...
...my ever-loving
Pro 2 call
Then he flung  the door wide
in a normal voice he said
come on come come on in
So I stepped past him..ito begin
What i came to do

he shouted out loud
Honey!I found the man you was looking for the man ...the man with the plan ...the man who can
and his name is Stan; he winked at me
and tossed  me a grin

To continued on with
I got me a tee time at 10
and he gave me another grin
did a 180 spin
headed out the door! wow!
Whispering once more
good luck fella  see ya stan....

She opened the door  
said hello to me then said
what was that Stan ?

***  ...what the hell!

I said hello ..uh..He left
but I'm here...to..
To ..ahhh well... to fix the doorbell 
 
She hesitated... confused to which I related then said okay!
Im still 20 miles from Marrakesh
so I'll see you when I get there...okay?

Okay?

She shut the door and the squeaking
began once more.
What a way to start the day and it ain't even 8:30 yet.