the feeling
that i hate the most
is that one
where you feel
like your heart
weighs a thousand pounds.

you know,
the one where
you feel that lump
rising in your throat
and you try to swallow
just to choke it down.

your eyes sting
from the tears
you blink away.
and your fake smile
waivers, unstable
and you pray no one
will ask if you’re okay.

it’s that feeling
not when your heart breaks,
but when you feel
it takes all your strength
to lift it up,
that’s the one that i hate.