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Dec 2019
what could i do with my life?
i can see
it, now
s t r e t c h e d   o u t  
in front of me
like that timeline of photos
except i cannot see the future, only the past
and the present
and i hear everything now.
i remember the feel of her heartbeat under me
the taste of her lips
the sound of the waves crashing
the feeling i got when we were together
the smell of delicious food
the heartbreak of seeing my grandpa’s ashes
the hatred i felt looking in the mirror
the panic
when i couldn’t breathe
because i was sobbing so hard.
the anticipation, possibility, love,
sweating showering screaming eating sleeping running kissing laughing amazing everything
wondering thinking
living dying.
i can see my contorted face
in the shards of my broken mirror.
put your hand on my heart,
and you will hear my thoughts. move it up
to my brain and you’ll feel blood pumping.
this is ostensibly it
and why? because we have much more to do
so even if it is short it is still so long & is it all?
i know i without a doubt that
this is not
all we
weird time in my life, i am just thinking about a lot of things.
Written by
dempsey  15/F
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