what could i do with my life? i can see it, now s t r e t c h e d o u t in front of me like that timeline of photos except i cannot see the future, only the past and the present and i hear everything now. i remember the feel of her heartbeat under me the taste of her lips the sound of the waves crashing the feeling i got when we were together the smell of delicious food the heartbreak of seeing my grandpa’s ashes the hatred i felt looking in the mirror the panic when i couldn’t breathe because i was sobbing so hard. the anticipation, possibility, love, sweating showering screaming eating sleeping running kissing laughing amazing everything wondering thinking living dying. i can see my contorted face in the shards of my broken mirror. put your hand on my heart, and you will hear my thoughts. move it up to my brain and you’ll feel blood pumping. this is ostensibly it and why? because we have much more to do so even if it is short it is still so long & is it all? i know i without a doubt that this is not all we get.
weird time in my life, i am just thinking about a lot of things.