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Dec 2019
My heart is broken
Doesn't seem like it will be fixed
The pain is too much
It hurts to exist

My chest feels
Like a ton of cement
Is weighing it down
Threatening to crush

I wish I knew how
To bare this pain
But I fear it's too late
That my times almost up

My love is so strong
But it feels like it's a joke
Thoughts run rampid
Pushing to suicide

I don't know how much longer
I can push these thoughts down
Hoping that something will change
And that it will be alright

But the more these thoughts
Run wild inside my mind
The harder I find
To stay alive

Thoughts that seem almost
To be imagined
Like what really happened
With my love

What happened with my sanity
I feel it's already gone
Running amuck inside my head
Causing delusional thoughts

I hate to say it
But I fear I won't last
This trial that seems to last
For a million eternities

Do I run and hide
Or do I stay and fight
But also if I do stay
What if it's not me

What if it's someone else
What if I'm not picked
What happens then
Cause I can't stand that pain

These thoughts keep racing
Causing paranoia and misery
Should I just give in
And let my thoughts win

It keeps getting worse and worse
I just wish it would stop
Though I don't see that
Happening anytime soon

The love I have
It hurts too much
So I don't know
If I'll survive

I just wish someone
Would rip out my heart
And stop the pain
So maybe I can
Cerasium
Written by
Cerasium  31/Gender Nonconforming/Phoenix, Arizona
(31/Gender Nonconforming/Phoenix, Arizona)   
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