11:47 pm
13 minutes away from the next day
13 minutes away until it is no longer my birthday
Aren't birthdays supposed to be meaniful?
November 11th 2013 was the best day of life
Until it wasn't
I told him "see you later" when I should've said "goodbye"
I told him I loved him
Even when he refused to eat cake with us
My dad
He lost his life May 1st 2014
He had a heart attack and knew he was going
I was in school
In a different city
Not allowed to call him
And why would I, when I had nothing to call him for
May 2nd
My mother got her rights taken away
My dad was supposed to show up
But didn't
My mother told me he was sleeping when I knew better
I knew he wasn't sleeping and he wouldn't purposely not come to see me
He loved me
November 11th for the years to follow meant nothing
I always thought about that last "see you later"
I hated myself so much
I didn't get to say goodbye
As he laid their in miserable pain
With a wife that stole his prescription pills
With a wife who forgot about her children
With a wife that will to this day curse his name
November 11th 2019
This year I felt as though my day had been ruined
Little did I know
It was quite the opposite
Dinner
A hot beverage
A devo
Songs
And even a surprise cookie cake
I struggled while eating because I felt like I was putting on a show
I struggled with that cookie cake because I already had 1,470 calories the day before and my head was telling me that I must make up for what I had eaten
But it was my birthday