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Oct 2019
Its only been a week since I last heard your voice

But I'm already starting to forget the sound of it as you whispered my name

Some nights when my mind is flooded with questions and memories and longing for you, I block my number

I call you.

I'm not sure why, because if you picked up the phone I don't think I would have any words to say.

But I know you never pick up blocked numbers.

So I know I'll here your voice on your voicemail.

I know I'll feel the tingling in the back of my throat

As I hang up the phone again.

The tears will trickle down my cheeks.

They'll burn holes into my pillow while I bury my face

Trying to escape this worthless feeling.

The voices in my head will come out to play.

Reminding me I am unwanted, I don't deserve to be loved, of course he didn't love you, no one ever will.

When the madness slows down for a second, I am able to find sleep.

And I still don't understand why I keep picking up that phone to call you in the first place.

But here I am. Dialing your number once again.

-c.m.
Things I'll Never Say
Written by
Things I'll Never Say  27/F/Ontario, Canada
(27/F/Ontario, Canada)   
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