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Oct 2019
Dear Louise

So sorry to hear your pet elephant went on the rampage through your front room. I know you treasured that antique vase your great grandfather pillaged from an ancient tomb in Cairo.

Try not to worry about your crushed shoulder blades. You were never too fast on your feet. Elephants can outrun an Olympian when they decide to get going.

I understand the insurance company refused to entertain any associated damage as contrary to the household goods act 1783.

What a pity but to be expected eh? Anyway what possessed you to turn on Wild Safari on a Sunday afternoon. That 85 inch telly is like a window into Africa. No doubt that elephant thought he was one step away from the Savannah.

Well done and full kudos to the grandad on the Honda 50 who went in pursuit of that magnificent creature. What a heroic gesture he attempted in overtaking your pet and waving his arms in the air.
A brave but futile attempt. You might want to know he was picked up off the ground by a rapid response ambulance. First reports say he will live but will be restricted in his mobility for at least two years.
The Honda is a write off and his family are none too pleased.

Anyway at least the Zoo are happy with their new acquisition.

Your elephant has settled in nicely.

I know you are anxious to get a replacement pet to keep you company. Maybe now is not the right time for an anaconda.

I will drop by next Sunday and drop a few grapes into you.

All my love

Harriet Cleve
Written by
Harriet Cleve
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