a year. it's been a year since i have been a totally different person. and i don't know if i should thank you or hate you for turning me into this person that can't love anymore. this person that can't feel anymore. this person that doesn't care anymore.
everything is flat and colourless. everything is 1D now
and i miss those moments when i felt everything so strongly that i wanted to smash my head against the walls.
i feel that now, but out of frustration that nothing wakes up in me. nothing good.
only tar, mud and slimey walls.
i look in the mirror and all i can see is a pale, skinny, vacant face.
and i pull myself to be like before. before you.
but she is so foreign from me that i don't know how to get to her. how to rediscover her.
and like this i drag myself from one day to the other hoping that tomorrow it will be better.
closed in a dark soundproof room which i can't escape.
and you... you think i'm hopping around picking flowers...