are you angry or upset, what are you feeling inside.
do you feel like you weren't wanted, or do you think that you did something wrong.
do you think you were a mistake or just not loved.
these words roll around in my mind day and night wondering if what they did was a good or bad thing,
you tell me they loved me but not enough to keep me
you tell me they wanted to to give me a better life but didn't realize how depressed id be growing up.
i don't think id ever understand all this
my whole life was a lie the parents i called mom and dad....
but this whole time i had other parents how do you explain that to a child.
i'm depressed, mad, upset, confused, lost, my whole world came crashing down.
my heart broke a little i felt like a was standing still but i wasn't alive.
when i think of the word adoption i stop and stare into mid space thinking why have kids if you KNOW you cant look after them.
but you weren't thinking of the consequences.
no words or the amount of thinking would ever make me understand what you did and why you did it.
i'm now 19 and i'm still cry every night thinking why .what if ,maybe i did something wrong
you didn't realize but i'm hurting way more than you would think
but i will say this i'm in a better home environment,
so for that thank you, adoption is a whole lot of crazy world