Undercover and in pain
Let my secrets out again
I know when to rest my mind
My one man band conclusion
Is always that Gloria is saying
I will survive this round
Yet my heroic strides
Only wake to meet me
When I am alone
The quiet truth is
My strength evaporates
Around the space
That is around you
It's the in between bits
That just won't do
You step carefully up to my door
And arrive with the flowers
Your smile brightens the room
You make me feel like an heirloom
Discovered treasure in the ocean
Or a loved national anthem
Just when I feel the right balance
You step playfully off the see-saw
You walk back out into the world
With your smile as your crutch
I look at you one last time
And I feel I am a forgotten stone
I feel more alone than when you were
Never coming back
There's always going to be time
For separation
But when you go I go too
Mentally
I want to be the paths you walk upon
I long to be your uber driver
Even for the briefest encounter
I would love to be a street onlooker
Admiring your face from a distance
I long to be everyone you are yet to meet
The person who sells you lunch
The people who complain at work
I'm jealous of the silly jokes
I'm a bit reluctant to admit
I want to be able to say goodbye
And still hold delight in my day
But my time without you
Feels like life is going back to school
Like I feel when I am to read a book
Like the time used to practice the piano
To prepare for the next big event
But without cheers, big crowds
Or admiring eyes around
The undercover pain
That I am speaking of
Is not written about enough
That my strength as I know it
Vanishes when I know
I am only intermittently
Going to be without you