I’m not satirical or political
So, I don’t belong in the New Yorker
I’m not all gossip
So, I don’t belong in the National Enquirer
I’m not famous
So, I don’t belong in People
I’m not newsworthy
So, I don’t belong in Time
I’m bare-bones
So, Set me up in *******
I promise not to disappoint you
through all my curves and lines