What's worse?

Missing someone and
still not being able
to talk to them

Not because you
can't, but because
both are dangling
from a weak thread
A bit of more stress
to it would shred it
away

Maybe it's something
that I want - I'd
rather die once and
for all, and not die
a little every time I
contemplate things
in my mind..

But I can't have it
either, whilst all I
could do was put up
a charade - smile
and shut my mind
off.