I don't know why I don't write anymore
Typing these words out is now suffocating
Like I'm not living them anymore
They're a shadow of my feelings
That are expansive and depthless

I don't know why I can't write anymore
The words escape and falter
In scatter plots across my tired mind
My soul aches to bleed, battered by blind numbness
But the bandages I have put on it are so tight

I see why I can't write anymore
I can't let them open my bandages
I don't want my wounds to tear open again
I am terrified of what I will feel
Of all that I will feel
The expansive and depthless abyss
Of sadness I am keeping at bay

Nothing has been the same since I lost her

But how long will this unfeelingness last?

Will I survive feeling whole again?