he sips

feeling that burning sensation tickling the back of his throat,
feeling the fire that fuels all of his crippling desires,
that desire to be loved, and to love.

the smoke just mixes, slowly destroying his body from inside out
becoming a catalyst for the process that so many others are afraid of.

not him

he welcome's that outcome and cherishes the thoughts of when it finally comes,

leaving him alone, in silence and nothingness

finally somewhere to call his own where trust will never be an issue
and so he sips.

losing himself in the potion to forget how the smoke destroys his lungs and body

and slowly as he dies, finally feeling the same way on the outside that he does inside, he smiles, thinking absolutely nothing.