the sound that makes me shiver and the hairs on my skin stand up
reminds me of better times compared to what I see now
with the sky bearing clouds of grey and no color
snow covers everything
the daylight brings as much misery as the night
endless days that go on for months and seem like years
Thoughts are putting a hole in my passion
destroying my dreams
slowly as death takes it's time with me
I feel so tired and want so much to sleep
not knowing if I really wake up
or if I already live in hell
feeling every bit of pain
there should be remorse for pleasure
but I don't care
wandering through the lust for flesh
finding my truth to tell myself
secrets about me kept from me discovered by me
a light I don't want to see myself in
the guilt of regret I swear I do not have
may find itself catching up to me
and live with my body  where I do not wish
to remain