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Jul 2019
I screamed at the thought of dying; I couldn’t help the thought of wanting to die. I didn’t expect to ever feel this way. I thought I was one of the strongest people in the world because I never showed my pain; that wasn’t the best for me in the end. The pain became so unbearable that I wanted to run away from it. I began to close off from all the people that mattered in my life. I don’t have a clue why this was happening to me. I thought I had made such a big mistake that I shouldn’t be alive. That thought scared me so much that I ran. I hide away from all of the thoughts and pains in my life. It was some of the hardest times in my life. I never thought I would get out of it. The dreams haunted my ever wandering thoughts and it just wouldn’t go away. People laughed at me thinking nothing was wrong; I was okay in their own eyes. I had nothing to do but hide behind all the lies I had created. I tried to force myself to be okay because I didn’t have a reason to be that upset. They never believed my mind flooded with the thoughts of death. I just wish they seen the true way my mind was thinking. I just actually wanted to be okay; I needed help, but no one could help. That’s until someone found me all alone and seen right past my lies. They saved me and I couldn’t thank them enough. Yes, my life is still really hard, but I try my best to make it through everything. It put me up to the task of being able to help others who are going through similar things out. That’s what I live for everyday. To see my best friend smile is all I need to save my day from falling away.
Paula Putnam
Written by
Paula Putnam  18/F
(18/F)   
76
     --- and Paula Putnam
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