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Jul 13
I can't handle this agony and absence
My mind is speaking in fragments
My heart is confused and erratic
and my brain feels like an attic
It is cluttered, it is sporatic

I guess in a way it is connected
But my actions don't reflect it
My mind is speaking in fragments with my brain thats like an attic
In a way that makes me seem like an addict

I'm addicted to love
I'm addicted to the feelings it can create
When you truly feel something for someone, no one, not even you can ever relate
Those moments are felt intensely, and you feel in those moments,

Such powerful love can only end in dissapointment
It will flatline and cause you pain
That pain may vary depending on the depth of love that you may carry
but this pain is something that kills you
you may not die from it (but you very well could) but it kills you
it destroys this idea of this love you thought existed

Your heart will be dormant and empty
It wants to be alive but it can't be
It was fed ideas that can't be
It desires to be those ideas but it just cant be
It's just not that simple and no one will be able to see

I wonder if anyone besides the person in your head ever notices that you are not the same person
That your old person is dead
It's as if the ego was killed, faded, and won't build
It's freezing over, and sometimes it feels like it might uncover
But then you're reminded that it's just too wounded to heal
That you're just not able to feel

Nothing can break the seal,
It's hold is too strong
It's like a scar in your soul,
It may be able to put itself back together,
but it will never be together like it was at the point before,
It will look different despite how hard the body tries to heal,
It is constant and you are reminded of it frequently,
It's always there and is a part of you

I wish I can start over, I wish I can start new
I wish I could experience more and enjoy life a little more, with you,
I want to forget, I want to be able to close that door
But the cold gust from the sealed heart keeps blowing it open

I used to be creative, but now I'm getting dull
My heart is fed up with ice, and it's grumbling, but it's full

The idea of love is such a faded one
It's no longer a thought,
you already thought you had it once,
that it was over and done, and true love was caught

The idea of love was infinite, but now it is a faded one
I can't feel anymore
and I want to feel again
Sebastian Ace Machiavelli
Written by
Sebastian Ace Machiavelli  17/M/Nowhere
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