I feel their eyes surrounding me, locked into my insecurities
Their faint whispers scratching thoughts into my brain
My own blood and skin under my nails
I've run out of nails to bite and I've resorted to scratching my arms
My voice grows raspy and weary from all the screaming
I can hear them in my head and feel them in my legs
my feet
my eyes are falling; my lids growing heavy but stinging from the tears I keep them open
I don't sleep, i can't bare it
I'm scared to be alone and unaware of what's happening in the dark
I've started to only sleep during the day when they can't get me
In my stomach there's a knot, they've been tying for years on end
With their murmurs and their laughter they fill a void in my life
I know I'm not crazy and I've sworn it to be true
But I've started to rock myself to sleep and pick at the skin around my scars
I don't feel like it's me in control and I'm scared to be quiet so I mouth what they say into my silent room where the lights start to flicker and I rely on a phone call to leave my bed
I'm a paranoid mess and unwanted at that
I see these shadows at night and a sadness that hangs over my head
I jump at small noises and movements when they're too fast and I've scared my family and friends
It's consuming me and holding me by neck, keeping close enough to cry but i can't get away from it's grip
I'm struggling to wake up and you're struggling to listen
This isn't a cry for help
This isn't a confession to my insecurities but rather an allocation to a jury of people saying they care
I'm pleading for mercy when they take me away