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Jun 2019
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I. The Song-bird

I can but dream of yester-year,
Thy voice a song-bird singing;
With every morn I woke to thee,
And friendship just beginning.

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Crept up upon, and stole away,
Love claimed me when I found thee;
Thy dawn, thy noon, thy evening's set,
Thy crimson locks around me.

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Please fare thee well my song-bird,
Though I know I shan't be near thee;
Thy melody still somewhere sings,
Though I no longer hear thee.

II. Your Garden, I

You but walk past the apple tree each morning
And blossoms fall that they may settle on your breast,
Lie and faint against your silk, I wish to God could I...
That chance you'd pluck this fruit and in me find your rest.

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Would He but let me live amongst the thorny roses
That reach to kiss as you float gently past,
Upon that lowest branch, 'tis me, a bud un-closing;
Though I be trodden underfoot, and crushed at last.

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Without regret or second thought I'd bear thee,
Content to lie beneath the baby's breath,
'Tis still my home in peace to dwell forever,
Tread underfoot, pressed even unto death.

III. Awake Thee 'Fore The Dawn

To pluck the day, its budding life,
Is thus to chance belong,
For blossoms still alive today
May be to-morrow gone.

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To float up to the skies today,
And touch sun 'fore his leaving,
Is chance to dream, though now awake,
And never cease believing
(Hold on to that feeeallliiinnnn')

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Though life in morning's most alive,
And in thy veins runs warmer,
Still tarry not, or thou may miss
What waits thee round the corner.

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Though shyness is allure, my love,
Silence can love entomb;
Some blossoms once they've closed, my dear,
Cannot again re-bloom.

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Please heed this all from he who knows,
And learned with such a cost,
For once I slept in past the dawn,
And, thus, her love I lost.

Carpe diem: Etymology; Latin ('to pluck the day')

iv. icarus

reason (racing)
isolation (self-imposed)
sweet symphony (yet un-composed)
wishes come (a curse with each)
this longed-for one (just out of reach)

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myself, to her, will not belong
(with all my last words taken wrong)
cry with me, mourn this deepest sleep,
the seeds i plant, she cannot reap,
our kiss will never come to pass

(no room tonight for this romance)

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what of the heart that cries tonight,
what of the song it sings?
if i could, i'd fly to you
if not for broken wings

v. think of me fondly

i can be needless
i can be like a stone
as hard as the leshan buddha
we all have that skill inside of us
but i think i need to be more than
a carving on a remote mountain
or a piece of malleable clay
shapeless until molded
by another's hand
i fumble
the unknowable
what exactly is the
future anyways?
think of the
next moment
and already
it is here
want to
reach out
but i won't
though i feel
parts of me are
slowly dying
and maybe
my love
can only
fade slowly
as hers does
for even now
in this silence
my heart can't
stop feeling hers
beating alongside
asking please,
jessica, please;
think of me
fondly, or
think of
me not
at all

vi. dreams

the very second
we wake from them,
they can be so very, very
far away; the harder
we try to hold, the
cruelly quicker
seems their

the gulf left,
       so unbridgeable,
            so enormous,
                 so peculiar
when only so brief
a moment ago it was
       so close,
            so familiar,
                 so a part of us.

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can a person
truly love more
than one other at
the very same time?

trying to find the answer
to that question is like
trying to remember a
dream upon waking...

though i've discovered
there is just enough room
in this one man's chest for
both our broken hearts.

vii. of string and sustain

The memory of your crimson locks
cascading down around, a framing
of such rapture as your emerald eyes at play;
it plucks my heart with subtle quill,
a note so frail, al niente, it rings, then fades away.

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The memory of your troubled soul
revealed before me, bare; sometimes beside
me, sometimes not, but always wild and free,
strikes at my heart, dal niente, a chord that plays,
reverberates... and echos still in me.

(Al niente is from the Italian musical term meaning to fade to nothing, where convexly dal niente mean to arrive from nowhere. I like how a single letter completely flips the meaning).

viii. petals

i close my eyes
and i am there as
my soul leaves me
brought to this place by
a perfect love song sung by
a choir of every songbird that
lives (or has ever lived), wordlessly
singing to beckon me to visit a while
filled, overpowered almost,
by the unrefraining fragrance
of these perfectly unmade beds
of unearthly coloured blossoms
living and lifted by perfumed mists
falling mildly from clear, azure skies
through breezes that gust so slightly
blowing rapturous sunshine against me
and in me through my mouth and my eyes
as all that beautiful light and heat gather
together in my rising, falling chest
and i am so completely whole
in one moment that is all yours
as we are so lost, and so found
in this morning's daydream
at the end of our endless
days that end tonight

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as your breathing labours
your freckled, trembling fingers
separate yourself, and your eyes urge
me to push so strongly against and into
your most secret hungers that i so ache as well
to feed as i savour and stroll down the ever
twisting and turning paths of your
heavenly garden that come
tomorrow's light
shall forever remain
in my dreams yet again...

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i want to stroll forever
searching vainly for our worth
much too fragrant for my world,
far too fragile for your earth

ix. from across the sea

as from a very distant star
whose light seeps under tight-locked doors
your light had traveled very far
from Éire's ever-dreaming shores

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awaiting here impatiently
i was at least before i saw
'twas my heart being shaped for thee
as ice is shaped by spring-time's thaw

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your light unfaded by the years,
a blue sphere burning bright,
that mixes now with my own rays
revealing paths within shared sight

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no images of stars that died
remain within your heart or mine
as all those heartaches on the way
were leading us to what we'd find

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and now two separate yearnings dove
at ending of a long, dark night
perchance a chance at lasting love
lifting two souls aloft in flight

X. Every Verse For You

As I gaze upon your picture,
Though your beauty knows no bounds,
Its your subtler of charms
                           that I adore;

But when I think of touching you,
Pressing my lips against your skin,
More base desires start moving
                           to the fore;

I want to fill you up with me,
I want to set your passion free,
I want to be the wave that crashes
                           on your shore;

But then I see who's next to me,
And I'm overcome with shame,
For it's more than just myself
                           I'm fending for;

Life used to be so black and white,
Do this it's wrong, do that it's right,
But now I'm feeling things I've
                           never felt before;

And as I write another verse,
It sounds so awkward and contrived,
Searching for some elusive words
                           you're looking for;

And if these phrases sound all wrong,
Maybe the night's just been too long,
For it's from a heart that's true
                           that they do pour;

Or maybe it's just déjà vu
That I'm trying to sell to you,
For it's been too long I've lingered
                           at your door;

But if I cannot have your kiss,
Could you at least please grant me this?
Please don't forget me (not just yet)
                           I do implore;

And as your picture fades to black,
I take a very long look back,
And as I look into your eyes
                           they underscore:

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There is nothing I could say
That could make you start to love me...

As there is nothing you could do
That could make me love you more...

xi. goodbye flutterby

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                 of light wings
             & pretty things
             & stops & starts
             & heavy hearts

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Not quite day-time, not yet quite night,
Is when we'd meet in briefest flight,
I, but dull moth, thoust, butterfly,
Under curt shadows of twilight.

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Thou would'st trade yellows, blacks, and blues,
For dusty monotones of grey,
Acting aloof, yet, with such ease,
Thy shades would give thee quick away.

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With such stressed seasons 'tween us now,
Surrounds me, life, and all it brings...
Yet doleful thoughts haunt noticing
Thy fading colours on my wings.

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Ah, but to fly now even still,
(Wish setting sun could ever stay),
Ah, but to have yet one more chance,
(Wish we could wish ourselves away).

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Forget me not, my Swallowtail,
Under thy body feel my air,
Through aether let my love reach thee,
Whisp'ring, My sweet, know I yet care...

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Though it's far better now you've gone,
For I knew well 'twas never right,
For thee to lose such 'lucent hues,
Turning a creature of the night.

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an  ode to papilio troilus

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Tonight, just for tonight,
When we both go to sleep
With such distance and so
Many lives apart from one
Another, I still reach out,
I am stretching to you,
Asking with a long-distance
Whisper in your ear, please,
Let us say to each other
Just for one night
And only in dreams,
We are butterflies...
let us fly together,
and see the world

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Running to Stand Still

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recovering lovejunkie
Written by
recovering lovejunkie  49/M/Canada
     BR Dragos and Cné
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