i laid next to him after we'd finished, we lay there half naked. he's on his back watching the TV, i'm on my side, leaning on him. i move my head as close to his chest as i can.

after i lay there for a while, i realized the ugly truth. this is not my dream. he won't hold me close and run his thumb up and down my arm. he'll just lay there, waiting to drift off, as if i'm not even there.

i gave up, i turned over to my side, back facing him, just thinking of how hollow i've become. when he finally does turn to spoon me, he loosely puts an arm over my waist, but i realize it's no use.

i'll always be empty.