Mixed Emotions

Pt. 1
It's not your fault

I'm sorry.  

I wake up every morning with a hope of death some time throughout the day.
I go to bed at night with dreams of never waking.
I walk across the street at night in black clothing
Without enough care to check for oncoming traffic,
So in the case there is someone coming,
I don't have to end my life with the knowledge that I did it on purpose...
I just set up the perfect accident.

Pt. 2
I want to fall in love again.
The way I did with you.
I want to fall in love so deeply that I haven't had a clue
about the world around me and the things that others do.
I want to fall in love again
I want to feel it true
I want to fall in love so that the greys can turn to blue
and all things pertain to you
and all my problems minuscule,
because I've shard my life with you
I want to fall in love again
But I can't replace my you.