You looked so dead as you sat there staring at me and as i sat there staring back at you through red stained eyes and wet cheeks and a lip that I could not control. As I just sat and sat and sat after telling you how I loved you and all I wanted to do was make you happy for the rest of my life you just looked at me like I was some inconvenience in your good time. You yourself for a moment held back tears I could see them. Your jaw tense and your eyes hollow but filled with resentment. I was a flat tire - a stalled vehicle on the highway of your life your summer of love and *** and drugs and cigarettes and ***** and Europe and here I was pouring my soul out onto the grass in front of you on the banks of the Seine and you sat there silently sipping your rosé as if I was the fly that had landed in it. You were horrible it was horrible and I had emptied my heart in front of you like I never had before with anyone especially you and you told me that as well, that this was all that you wanted to hear when we were together and now the time came where I was saying it and it was too late for some reason because you had done whatever you had to do to get over me and now it was my time and how unfortunate for you that you had to endure it alongside me. But you didn’t endure it. You turned your face away from me as I wept and said you’d rather get drunk instead of hold my hand and when we left I walked alone behind you along the river and watched your shadow fade away against the coming twilight and the backdrop of the city and my world fell apart. I’ll never forget that night in Paris. It was my 35th birthday.