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May 24
Watching the screen day and night
Making my eye pop out of the stimulus I see
Filling my mind up with thoughts
Sort of like a cognitive *******
Now it feels redundant
Nothing makes sense to me
Still I watch the screen day and night
Coz i have literally lost my mind
Its just self loathing based self awareness
and lack of interest in things
Iam in a loop of shame
I need to get out of it
Sometimes I feel like I even like this
Romanticising Charles Bukowski
It feels like a safe place to be in a state like this
and paradoxically I hate everything about it too
Maybe I should have never put thought to things life would me much easier then
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