May 2019
I'm lazy,
Argumentative,
I drain,
From their incentive,
I'm a pain,
And overly sensitive,
But not enough,
When it comes to pets,
Not an "animal person",
Just not into vets,
I'm so terrible,
yes oh yes,
The worst,
yes oh yes,
Adhd,
Anxiety,
Intrusive thoughts,
Please help me,
No medication,
For the thoughts,
"It's electronics",
Your brain rots,
They hate me,
When I make,
Any sort,
Of mistake,
He blames me,
When somethings missing,
Why can't I be left,
Left alone,
Given privacy,
In our home,
Can't close my door,
Can't have food,
Suspicious to have water,
I wish I could,
Just be left,
To my own devices,
But it's on me,
It's my fault,
That I'm called names,
By an adult,
"Wack",
He sometimes says,
"Lord Help Me".
I need prayers,
Though he never prays,
Outside of me being weird,
I'm a demon for these days.
"Can't wait till you leave",
I can't wait too,
I'm spoiled?
You don't like me though,
It's true.
I'm always the bad one,
Never defended,
Only attacked,
Then I can't be offended?
Okay.
Argumentative,
I drain,
From their incentive,
I'm a pain,
And overly sensitive,
But not enough,
When it comes to pets,
Not an "animal person",
Just not into vets,
I'm so terrible,
yes oh yes,
The worst,
yes oh yes,
Adhd,
Anxiety,
Intrusive thoughts,
Please help me,
No medication,
For the thoughts,
"It's electronics",
Your brain rots,
They hate me,
When I make,
Any sort,
Of mistake,
He blames me,
When somethings missing,
Why can't I be left,
Left alone,
Given privacy,
In our home,
Can't close my door,
Can't have food,
Suspicious to have water,
I wish I could,
Just be left,
To my own devices,
But it's on me,
It's my fault,
That I'm called names,
By an adult,
"Wack",
He sometimes says,
"Lord Help Me".
I need prayers,
Though he never prays,
Outside of me being weird,
I'm a demon for these days.
"Can't wait till you leave",
I can't wait too,
I'm spoiled?
You don't like me though,
It's true.
I'm always the bad one,
Never defended,
Only attacked,
Then I can't be offended?
Okay.
Hard to tell exactly what I'm experiencing through a poem. Their great parents, my new adoptive ones (who originally were my aunt through marriage and my blood related uncle), but they have faults in emotional support. It's never positive reinforcement like "You'll do better next time!" only, "No electronics". They think taking my electronics solves everything. How about helping me learn from my mistakes by actually explaining what I did wrong, or understanding that I have realized what I did wrong? I don't know, I'm only a child I guess, hard to put myself in their shoes. And other people have it worse off.
