Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
6d
I feel my arms go cold
The thoughts in my head fold
"Oh no, not again,
I just want it all to end

I feel it on my neck
A cool and heavy breath
The white all melts to red
There's buzzing in my head

Infernal whispers in my ear
I want to run away from here
I wish I hadn't missed my meds
Forever haunted to all ends

A sense of dread washes over me
I should be over it, but I'm not free
Even though it's only been a year
I thought I wouldn't still have the fear

I close my eyes
I can still see them
I cover my ears
they whisper Iā€™m red
I plug my ears
I can still hear them
I can still see them
Why
still

Things are different
I have my friend's support
I tried to escape the torrent
All of my effort
I have Quetiapine
For whatever that's worth
I try to leave the scene
From then on and since forth
I have experience
and I'm always trying
The ----ing inconvenience
I have ways of coping
But it all
feels
the same

It just
feels
the same

It's still red
It's still black
It's still a burden
on my back
It's still a conch shell
A wave of fear
It's still a tickle in my ear
It's still a void staring at me
with piercing white eyes
God, I want to get free
those eyes
the only thing white in the world
Like a horrifying play, it's about to unfurl

I hold my head
I hold my heart
I lie in bed
Afraid to depart
I want to cry
I really do
I can't explain why
I can't seem to

Maybe it's because I like it
Some part of me does
I really hate but I admit it
I wish it never ever was
A misplaced giggle
A twisted smile in my head
A love of edges
A want for the blazing red

It's a part of my brain
That I just can't constrain
Makes me feel like I'm crazy
I can't be insane

I got things to create
A life to live
A tested fate
A want to give

But it nags

Oh it nags

They say a laugh is the truest form of communication
Well, what if it's true?
What if that laugh you heard
Was me through and through?

I really must fight it
The laugh and the grin
The red in my head
Can't escape from within
I know it's wrong
It doesn't though
Its twisted song
Stopped at my throat
It isn't me
It isn't me
It isn't me
It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me

I don't want to be red
So
I guess
I'll be

Black
My second poem in the RED series. This one might add more confusion into the already confusing ideas and narrative, so I guess if for whatever reason you're trying to decipher my ramblings I'm sorry.
Cyndi
Written by
Cyndi  F/The Red and Black
(F/The Red and Black)   
46
   Fawn
Please log in to view and add comments on poems