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May 2019
She was 13 years old the first time.
A mix of tequila and pain killers.
Laying on her bed, she did not know what to do.
Made a mistake.
Her brother tries to stick his finger down her throat in hope she wouldnt die.
Police said it was "teenage angst" a "typical teenage girl"
She refused to speak to them because they didnt understand.
"stupid girl." her mother says.
Goes to therapy and gets diagnosed.
But her mother doesn't think the diagnoses is real.
"You want some fries?"
18 years old the second time.
Roommate found her unconscious, brought to hospital.
Roommate is crying.
She felt so guilty.
Gets sent to Hell with people who all tried to **** themselves.
Gets jokes about her anorexia.
"You eat barely anything, no wonder you're so skinny!"
5 days of playing chess and daytime napping.
Can't go back to school.
3rd time it was winter. 19 years old.
Extremely cold. Probably 20 degrees.
She went out running, hoping she'd get hit by a car.
Cars are really good at stopping for pedestrians.
Spent 2 hours trying to **** herself.
She cried when it didn't work.
Went and banged on a facilities door at 12am.
Screaming help,
because now she's just tired.
she is me
Written by
Belle  22/F/Boston, MA
(22/F/Boston, MA)   
   Bogdan Dragos
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