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May 2019
I have the heart of a racehorse
The second you are near.
You make me turn bright red
I slow my breathing out of fear.
My heartbeat is so loud
I don't want you to hear.

You affect me.
I feel like I've done an 100m dash.
Those brown eyes,
Smoulder like coals amongst ash.
They set fire to my soul,
I've never wanted to do something so brash...

Cold hands.
Warm heart.
A quiet word in my ear,
You make speaking an art.
After hours with you,
I can't bear to be apart.

I was stupid...
I pulled away.
It was for good reason and yet,
I will always hate the day
When I realised that
I am shattered clay.

I took such solace in simply
Sleeping on your shoulder.
You chased away nightmares
As my dreams grew colder.
I've never been more grateful
For my own knight-in-shining-armour.

But I can't let you mend me.
It isn't how I was made.
I don't know God's Plan,
All I know is that I can't fade.
It is not my time to leave this Earth
And make the soul trade.

It is a strange thing to realise too late
That you love someone.
You can't control it.
You got caught up in the fun.
Before you know it, time flies by
And you only know when it's done.

I've come to know
That I cannot just come up with a rhyme
To make this all feel better.
We were together for such a short time,
And yet, all I saw was a future together.
Thinking about this should be a crime.

I let you go,
A huge mistake.
And every time I remember,
My heart might just break
And I won't feel this again.
I know it isn't fake.

The more I remember
How things were,
The more I cry .
I thought I was so sure.
I miss you already...
You are my cure.

That isn't a good thing
Is that why I'm in pain?
I shouldn't have let you fix me
It was supposed to be my gain
But now you've gone and done it
That's why I'm standing in this rain.
I have a bad habit of making horrible decisions
Not on the need to know
Written by
Not on the need to know  19/F
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