I want to claw open my stomach
I said no

I want my fist to smash through
I said no

I want to rip out this dark mass in my stomach
I said no

I want to slice out the feeling inside me
I think I said no enough

I didn’t fight
I didn’t move
I wanted to

I said no
When will these heavy thoughts leave my stomach
Because they’re dragging me further than I imagined
And i hope they pull me to a lake
Because I’ve always felt like drowning