innocence lost, my
own vision clouded,
drifting light and tired shadows,
draped upon
the rifts and valleys
of my soul

o desire, you terrible mistress
queen of heart-flung whispers
lit like snowflakes on
a far and rocky
shore
swept up and melted by a
wave more cold than ice
kept warm with salt...

i don't know my own thoughts
anymore
i ran a blade across my skin
in wonder at the thought
that it could be an
answer
for anyone. it will never be for me

still i am lost in a maze of light and sparkling fire
all around
i reach for it
but the further i stretch
the emptiness of gall within expands

i'm leaving behind the best parts of me
when i travel into darkness,
i'm tying up and torturing the corners of
my mind
i thought i'd know ahead of time
where all the pain would
take me,
down this sad, **** rabbit-hole

but no one in a million years could
ever show me just how much
i'd like this terror to be
freed from what was
once a
tired freedom left
behind
by broken chains

is there one spark of truth in
a single thing i say?
or is it all the flurry of
senseless dreams
refurbished by a mind that
lives and sleeps and drinks and dies
with words.