Time and time and time again
I come back to the same thought
The same feeling
The same obsession
Lying on my back, staring at the ceiling

Intensity.

Why haven't I studied today?
I feel my body, and it's not okay.
Every part feels like it is too much, I am too much
What happened?
How did I let it get this way?

Tears.

I am too uncomfortable in my skin
Depression is beginning to win.

Despair.

Let the thought spiral begin.

Fat.
Ugly.
Stupid.
Failure.
Disgusting.
Worthless.
Disgra­ce.

A sadness and sorrow so encompassing it feels as though you've been winded.
Ripped in half.
You want to cry
While your demons laugh.

Skills, coping mechanisms, lessons learned
Yet nothing seems to actually work
Just let it be, leave it alone
While you feel like you're being smashed by a stone

Recovery.
Stuck half way.
More work to do.
To be more okay.