I never wanted to admit it it. I hated that it stayed so long. However the more I tried to fight it, the more apparent it became. The deeper the roots, the stronger the hold. To the point of my beginning was its end and its end my beginning. I let it wrap me. Take all my energy and love. Even though I could feel it, I didn't want to admit it was there. So I moved only when it let me, I thought only want it allowed me to. I spoke when spoken to and overslept to the point of illness. I no longer cared. I no longer felt. I no longer…. I no longer…. I was longer.. There was no I. There was simply it. And it fell deeper. And then I knew I needed to turn. To face it. While there was still some small part of me that could.