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Apr 2019
Breaking through every boundary
Bringing to question the roots of my morality;
Should I trade what I have
For a momentary thrill?
Or continue in this life, ignoring his presence, so shrill

He’s mastered me now
And knows just how to break through;
Get to the very bottom,
Despite convincing myself to stay true

The walls ive build up
He makes me regret;
Like a part of me now that I can’t forget

Testing the waters
I let him every time
I don’t know why
It’s like I have no control over my own mind

Weak sense of self, so he takes advantage
It’s like I know yet still don’t want to leave him stranded

I hate him for it
Yet am enthralled more;
Mysterious and capturing
Into his mind, I'm terrified to explore;
Vast and complex, can’t comprehend
Has hijacked and forged mine
Into a complete mess

I’m ultimately alone trying to make sense
But don’t worry, he’ll come back to **** up the rest;
Remains and ruins,
Unsolved mysteries, with answers only he can provide
Yet he’d rather watch me struggle, hiding outside

To trade my innocence for pleasure and a high
He’s the serpent, same ending every time;
The fruit stripped from the tree
As I prepare, in my hands, ready to eat
Stare into his deep, dark, mystifying eyes,
so full yet so empty

Try to convince myself this isn’t how it has to be
I can chose to hold onto myself,
Not sacrifice the last bit of me for a moment,
So temporary;
It’s just that when I’m in it, I can’t see out
I’d chose whatever he’d like of me
Like I’m enslaved, held captive by my own reality

Wish I could stay strong and choose
I’m so weak for him;
Help me encode how not to lose
He loves his game,
Like his own high
To lead me astray, and come back, providing  my life

One touch, I’m turned to gold
Respect him, I must
Love the beauty, and unexplainable rush;
Despise him more for the power I’ve granted
His touch, so gentle, yet painfully handled

As he lies his hand on me, I melt
Like a mad potter,
The clay starts to form with the warmth of his powerful wealth;
Maleable and weak,
He forms me slowly
Into a masterpiece,
Lovely yet tragic
#broken #love #sad #control
Written by
liakey  19/F
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