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Apr 2019
You didn’t have to say it.
There were a million other ways you could’ve phrased it.
You could’ve said I wasn’t giving you the right attention, in the right ways.
You could’ve said you needed space.
You knew it was the jab that would hurt the most,
And yet, still, you said it.

It hurts so deep I swear it was a blade
That marked this mind and tears at these eyes
For the sadness that falls is, for once, not for you, my love—
It’s because of you.

You aren’t okay, but you won’t open up.

This, I know.

What I don’t is why you would decide to rip at the biggest insecurity, to aim for my seams.
Calling me obnoxious was the final nail in this coffin
Something I hoped you’d never say
You promised you wouldn’t, love—
But I see that promise has gone away.

It’s been building for a while now
The reluctance you have to let me in
To let me help ease the pain, to let me listen and be your friend
You can’t see past what I feel inside
Even though I was willing to.
I just wanted to be close to you, love—
But it seems that I’ve ruined that, too.

No... It’s not entirely my fault, I’ve done all I can,
But you’re a broken man...
I can’t fix you.
You deny it all you want, you’re just as undone as the rest of us.
I was just trying to help.
You didn’t have to call me that.

This is what I get for opening up
I don’t know why I thought it could be different with you.
I opened up and gave you the map to my biggest weaknesses
You knew exactly where to hit your mark
This just might be fatal, love—this blood that rushes from within
If it is, it’s your fault.

You deceived me with those soft brown eyes and those long eyelashes, promising kindness and innocence.
You’ve broken that promise, love—
I’m afraid I cannot stay
This is verging on abusive behavior, love—
As much as I rend my clothes and feel this ache, I’m afraid I have to go away.
I can’t stop the sadness from running down my face.
Written by
Ariel  20/F
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