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Apr 2019
Unroll the gilded logic of tomorrow
and make way for backseat melodies
and cement scraped knees
unwashed hands and ***** faces
I want to find the ecosystem where I fit
I want to stay away from ledges
and train tracks and peaks
the ambient echo of stillness
when will I meet what will **** me
and how will I know what to call it

I like the butterfly effect
for its delicate tragedy
I like the end times served on silver wings
out west I saw homes hollowed out of trees
and I wanted to live there
and think about idealization
how I long for times when I was at my lowest
I wonder about my coming of age
what it would look like to a stranger
to grow up in a shell, and wait
for all the bubbles to pop,
for the air to escape

out west I lingered
I explored unreachable tangents
and ate my fill of fruit
to forget about the hunger
that has followed me from the beginning –
from some primordial depth
that springs up within me
I only like the summertime
and the cloyingly sweet reminders of rebirth

why do we call it abrasion and not erosion
the way skin burns away
I used to think that if I peeled enough layers
I’d find the answer somewhere
between muscle and bone
but the longer I live the less I know
and even that is a simplification
my own private eternity feels too short
I know there has to be some way
to make sense of what I’ve been given
but I only know the language of my own body
and beyond that, I am blind.
01.26.19.
Lilli Sutton
Written by
Lilli Sutton  22/F/Shepherdstown, WV
(22/F/Shepherdstown, WV)   
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