I smiled at the EMTs like a paralyzed child. A little girl asked if I was 'the lady who fell'. I didn't know what to say so I just smiled at her. I do a lot of smiling to get through my day. I just felt this hatred for what is happening right now. I know, they know, it's only a matter of time. A ball of yarn, unravels, and when you unravel it, it becomes nothing but a very long string. This string is the timeline to a life that I was looking for, thought I always wanted, where i marked the string, events occurred. You have to remember which color the event felt like, and be able to keep track of the black markers of years and birthdays and birthdays and birthdays. Understand your life on a one dimensional scale. It's humbling. But the problem is I lost the view of the shore from the ocean, and I began to unravel blank white string, adding gaps to my timeline, they get longer and longer. Save your string, do not unravel, you'll see the end when it comes. Just go, do something, stop caring, create new marks, imprints.