I am full of dichotomies
The perfect child
Who hates herself
The brilliant girl
Who wants to destroy her mind
The protected, cared for
Craving reckless liberation
The benevolent and peaceful
Wanting to hurt herself
The counseled and medicated
Devolving
Rich with conflict
Full of unexplained pain
Mourning the loss of her simple, pure soul
Wanting to drown in anything
Pain, grief, alcohol, water
But never able to
Because the good is fighting
But I don't want to let it win