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Mar 25
there is a hole where you once were
a distinct absence that i feel
as though it were something there
instead of something that isn't
a place where a person
that understood me
and that i was not afraid to show myself to
that i felt safe with
and that i felt safe with myself with
once lived and breathed
and died and was carved away
this person is gone, she is a scar
i throw innumerable paper presidents
at hollow pursuits
like rain at the *******
in an attempt to fill the void
empty calories
candy and plastic
a child playing at adulthood
an adult playing at being whole
i am not whole and i will not be whole
but the hole in me has shattered me apart
reflections in the broken glass
show me a person more broken than them
i crawl through the days like a revenant
alive but barely human
how close am i to who i was
when i met you?
how close am i to doing what i did then?
i don't know how to force emotion
out of my deadened heart
without pay up front
i feel lost
in a great dark wood
that never ends
no light in the distance
no moon or stars to guide my way
just endless dark trees
forever
i cry out to any who can hear
but it feels as though i am the last speaker
of a long lost language
your name now etched into stone
is a dying tongue gone from the earth
if i don't keep talking about you
and who you were
and what you meant to me
will the world forget you ever lived?
will history turn away
from the now ancient bones
of those that i loved?
the blood on the hands of the heroes
now crusted into dust and flaked away
pristine and innocent
deeds undone and forgotten
why did the smarter
and stronger of us
have to be the one to die young?
without you
i am the last of our kind
charley gwenn
Written by
charley gwenn  25/F
(25/F)   
176
 
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