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Mar 19
The emotions that bring the emptiness inside yourself
Like you just got kicked in the chest
To be at a complete loss of your future
Craving that sweet release you miss so much

Nothing will come from this
Always setting myself up for heartbreak
I’m a ******* making me feel alive
Always setting myself up for failure

Bring the pain I love it
Okay maybe half the time
Cuddle me while I’m crying
All while lies roll from your lips

Hating control I will take the power
Unless the voices say otherwise
I have a switch that turns off emotion
Not understanding why I can’t control it

I deserve this one way or another
Wishing it was a **** in my ***
Call me what you will
After school, words don’t hurt me anymore

They say ‘do good and good will come’
Obviously that’s a lie
I have never had someone try to help me up
All of my years have been full of screaming and tears

**** used to bother me
Learning how to love it
Pushing the rage down waiting for it to blow
Nothing gets me off better

Risky behavior thrill seeking
**** yes you can bust in me
I love to be your ***** *****
Not claiming the tainted blood in my veins

My failed attempts
No one knows
The chills I get putting the cold steel to my head
I am instantly dripping ******* wet

No warning no ****
Fill me if you can
Most can’t handle that
The second I tell them my fantasy they’re gone

If he has the status I will put his **** in my mouth
If you’re broke and busted this is not joke still I put him in my throat
Missing the mountains
I yearn for more

Don’t ask me why I’m like this there was no trauma
I can’t remember feeling any different
Stretching me to my limit
I wouldn’t mind six

They can all be friends or strangers
I’m a keeper of trinkets and first
I will forever be imbedded
My heart is a huge abyss

Depression leaving black rotting flesh
This needs to be put to death
They tell me I’m lying and that I can control this
What makes you think I don’t try why would I lie

I watch my feet when I walk making my time feel faster
Eyes red wrist ****** face feeling puffy
Silent screams escape my head
Never viberating my vocal cords

Cold metal locked on my wrist
Craving only escape all I care for is my music
Where is your god at now
My power I steal

Somehow my trust is automatic
I play the game to give you a false sense of control
Coming to reality maybe I’m the one always being manipulated
All it does is makes my knees weak

If you pull out fast it only makes me mad
I need you to degrade me
Five guys or one all blasting inside
I hope you fill all my holes

Our atoms mutating naturally or man made it’s all genocide
Receiving only my joker side
Just give me one second of your time
Gravity the only thing keeping me

Now I need you to do something for me
Spit on my ***** rub that ******* **** up and down my lips
All the way in all the way out make me ***
Stick your **** in my ***** now would you please *** inside me

Do you like my ******* today
In my hours of lsd you made me *** without touching me
I wish I had a match that is ****** up like me
Believing I can get higher then the trees

All of this is just a fairy tale
You will forget me with that deeply hurting me
My illusions you have made obvious
Wishing you would have been the first for me

It’s been going on to long either love or abuse me
Make it clear if I’m just another lay
My ****** and hard and I’m hot and ******* bothered
Can we get a little ****** and sticky

My purple jewels need your kisses
Getting insecure because I always stare
You don’t even know me I just want to please
Make me your pet

Laying on my front knees pulled tight face down awaiting
By submitting I’m asking you to use me
I only see love when I’m your *******
I just want your physical affection

Double penatration is key
You make me resist the urge to touch and ****
Take me to the bathroom force me on my hands and knees
Face pushed on the floor make me feel like I’m nothing

I need you to hold me
A knife to my neck **** in my *** put that gun in my ******
Make me scream while you **** me
How can I fufill this ******* need

This is all for now even if nothing came out
The drugs in my system I will always get them
Feed me pain so I can chase it away
All I ask is please **** me fill me
*...I deserve this through and through..I love you though*
Maddie Rea
Written by
Maddie Rea  26/F/Lost in Chaos
(26/F/Lost in Chaos)   
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