Here is your six am morning wake-up call
delivered via letter delivery by the bellhop like you requested
who took the stairs because the lift was out of service
to knock on your door even though it was on the top floor
so thank you for getting him to exercise
because he had to run up every flight of stairs in all.
Dear Hotel Manager,
I send my thanks to the bellhop for his early morning workout
to bring me my excuse to get up and greet the day with renewed vigor
because if he can overcome seventeen flights of stairs
I can climb out from the covers
and face the world free of doubt.
My Regards-Oct. 23rd
As you so requested again
here is a letter regarding your early checkout time
to be happening on Tuesday November 5th
in the morning by half past ten.
Failure to comply with our notification
has been noted
since it is now Wednesday November 6th
and it has come to light
that you have not left the rooms
and adjacent guest have made complaints
and a most awful smell that seems
to be originating from within your boundaries
and so Madame
you will be removed tomorrow evening from the premises
by nine-o-clock sharp, without any hesitation.
Changing the locks is not allowed
and no amount of furniture bombarded against the frame
will keep us at bay for long
please just vacate
and there will be leniency endowed.
We have called in a specialist
to break down the door
and remove you by force
to take you to jail
because by now,
as you must have realized yourself since you have stayed there,
the stench from you room has expanded
to encompass the entire floor
which is quite problematic
you troublesome narcissist.
(Her room is finally breached and her body is discovered.)
I never did ask your name
with your ugly green steamer trunk,
all I could think was "Poor Jeffrey the bellhop has to carry that thing up seventeen flights of stairs because the repairmen aren't due till next week to fix the lift."
And you just stood straight,
with hands hidden in your deep burgundy trench coat pockets.
Softly spoken answers to every one of my questioning remarks,
The lift is broken, what floor would you prefer?*
(The uppermost floor if you could, sir.)
Would you prefer a nice or regular view?
(A view would be mightily enjoyable.)
Single or double bed?
Your eyes twitched and your mouth turned down
And so as you walked away,
I stared at your backside and made some inappropriate inner comments
about your body because you were beautiful. Apologies for that madame, but I guess your looks are what got you into this mess.
how was I, the manger here, supposed to know that you had been murdered.
I don't know what a decomposing human smells like,
or at least I didn't.
Although I am thankful you paid in advance for your room, it does not cover the charge of having to fumigate and replace the blood-spattered walls, carpeting, and bedspread.
And so Madame, in conclusion to this letter that I am currently writing, I will go to your funeral and toss this envelope into your grave in order to approach your relatives and
bill them for our costs.
The Manager...who is not to blame.
Note: Her letter was later found in the removal of some desk drawers that had splintered when the bullets had ricocheted into the dark grain wood.
*To whomever does find this,
My apologies to the manager and the bellhop of this fine and fancy hotel
I had not meant to stay so long
but I have been running for some time
and a rest
back in my city was what I needed.
Unfortunately, if you are in fact reading this,
then my past
and my fears have found me
and I am dead.
Murdered presumably by
a most terrifying man...
...whoever he is.
I wanted to write a story-like poem and this was the result. Does it work?
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